Day 99 - No Surgery!

Today was one giant bag full of mixed emotions for me.

Chloe went down for her eye exam under anesthesia this morning. Same drill as last week. They rolled her down to the OR. Surgeon came out to tell me he'd take a look and then return to tell me his findings before proceeding with any surgery. He went in. After 10-15 minutes he returned to tell me that Chloe does not need surgery today. The blood in her left is has pretty much cleared away and neither retina has detached. We can go home. Yeah! Then he starts talking about about some pigment discoloration he found and Chloe's future vision impairments. We can't know for another few years what her vision impairment will be so I will choose not to worry about that right now. There's nothing we can do about it, anyway. Chloe is still at risk for retinal detachment for another 11 weeks so she'll get weekly eye exams. Fortunately, those can take place at home.

Last week the anesthesiologist also spoke to us before Chloe's eye exam. That didn't happen this week but I wasn't too concerned since she was undergoing the same procedure. They would just give her some gas to calm her. They wouldn't put her under or intubate her unless they decided to do surgery.

So how surprised was I to arrive upstairs at the NICU to find Chloe intubated and breathing on a ventillator after her 15 minute eye exam? Very. In fact, I was pretty horrified and scared. I started having flashbacks to her oh-so-recent life on the ventillator and the tears started flowing. I ask the nurse the obvious, "They intubated her? I thought they were just giving her gas." The nurse saw my obvious distress and kindly explained that they gave Chloe the same stuff that Michael Jackson took. You know, the stuff that killed him? People have varied reactions to it so that's why anesthesiologists have to be on hand to monitor the situation. Chloe Brady'd and Desatted so they had to intubate her. "Oh." Poor lady. I'm pretty sure she was actually trying to comfort me. (I laugh now.)

She assured me that she'd take Chloe off the vent soon. Like, as soon as she wakes up. Great! I'm thinking that's within the next hour. This is 8:30am. I then proceeded to stand and/or sit staring at Chloe for the next 5 hours (with one 30 min. break to pump) before I finally had to go get my first meal of the day. I came back, pumped again, and they finally extubated her at 3:30. Oh my gosh that felt like forever! Apparently, Chloe has a very strong reaction to anesthesia. During this time I managed to complain to a couple of people.

An hour or so after she's extubated I'm pretty much over the whole thing. Chloe is in my arms breathing like a champ and finally getting some milk. My world is at peace once again. That's when the surgeon comes in because they told him I was upset. I was glad to have the opportunity to talk to him - even if it was after I'd calmed down and had Chloe in my arms. At least I was heard (even if he didn't "hear" me). He's the big cheese and actually feel lucky that a world renowned surgeon looked at Chloe's eyes. Then the charge nurse gave me $15 in gift shop coupons because she felt bad. That was totally unnecessary but I didn't turn them down :-)

I chatted with the super nice lactation nurse about nippling and am getting excited about starting that. And ended the evening holding Chloe for another two hours. We're both so spoiled now! I finally said "goodbye" to Chloe's night nurse who she had for (count 'em) 6 nights straight! Yes, that's on 12 hour shifts. What a freak streak of luck we had on that one! We've NEVER had the same nurse for 6 straight days! And, on top of that, I liked her a lot. We're in a strange hospital. We don't know anyone. It was such a comfort to have the same nurse (and a good one at that) watching over her for almost a week straight.

Now I'm off to bed in my little apartment. This week went well, I think. No bad taste left in my mouth from this place. But Michigan oh Michigan. I will miss thee not.