Update

EYE

Surgery went well last week. We go back tomorrow for a check-up. I've been giving Chloe two different eye drops four times a day. One to prevent infection and one to reduce pressure in her eye. I fancied myself a talented eye dropper the first three days. I got Chloe to open her eyes nice and wide by waving musical toys above her head and quickly snuck the drops in before she even knew what was happening. No longer am I smarter than the baby. She caught on to me. At least I went three days without having to pry her eye open. It's not as bad as I feared, though. Chloe's fairly tolerant of me and puts up with a lot of crap - even gives me a smile here and there... She seems to be doing fine and her eye looks good. I can still see where they cut on her eyeball and that's kind of freaky but they gave us a hard shield-type eye patch to keep over her eye as protection. Unfortunately, she's really really good at grabbing and ripping it off so she's been swaddled and/or mittenized all week. Even then I've stepped away only to retun and find her eye patch off and both hands vigorously rubbing at her eye on a couple of ocassions. Little stinker.



MILK

After consulting four different lactation consultants and several webites and lay persons I've come to the conclusion that high lipase milk isn't all THAT uncommon. There's no study proving that the frozen stuff is safe for babies but everyone agrees that it probably is. So I'm still giving it to Chloe - at the rate of two bottles per day. She's still taking it fine and doesn't seem to be having any side effects. Fingers crossed that she continues to take it! I'm happy with my three to four pumpings per day schedule and my production is holding steady at a respectable, if not impressive, 15-18oz per day. If I can keep that up and supplement with 2 bottles from the deep freezer I'm golden for the next few months.



BLOG

On a side note, I'm seriously considering stopping the blog. As I've mentioned many times, writing is not my talent (although I'm not sure what my talent is.. ;-) and I just don't have time for it these days. It's almost midnight now and I'm only staying up in order to write this. Seriously, though, it takes like an hour to write one entry. And if I proof-read it three times to make it a smooth read then maybe an hour and a half. And now that Chloe's out of the hospital I really don't have all that much to report on a daily basis. I really love the idea of documenting important and fun family information, though. It seems like a great tool for when I finally start scrap-booking again. Plus, we live away from our family and it's a great way to keep my mom, sister, and SIL up-to-date on our goings on. I'm thinking of just starting a family blog for those two purposes but haven't decided for sure. Anyway, I wanted to mention this because I know that some kind souls out there have been following and praying for Chloe since she was born and feel a sense of...I don't know...obligation. (It somehow seems like it would be rude to just stop...) Decisions to come. In the meantime I give thanks for all the support, prayers, and friends I've received through blogging. It's been tremendous.

Cincinnati tomorrow

We leave for Cincinnati early tomorrow morning. Chloe's cataract surgery is scheduled for 9amET. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Smiling and Snoozing

I know these three pictures are virtually the same but I couldn't decide which was cuter so you get all three! :-)

I noticed a picture on our wall today. It's of Dave laying on the couch with infant Solana asleep on his chest. It ocurred to me that he never does this with Chloe. Granted, she's older than Solana was in the picture. I mentioned it to him when he got home from work today and here's the result.

I guess it works for Chloe, too. She looks pretty darn comfortable!

I should also mention that this happened right before dinner. Dave didn't want to disturb her so I ate my dinner and then came over and fed him while he played mattress to the little princess. Solana thought that was just about the funniest thing ever. We were all cracking up so hard I don't know how he didn't choke or, at the very least, wake up Chloe!

Lipase

A few months ago I was doing research via my fellow blogger, Megan's, blog. Her Crew's story contained enough similarities to Chloe's that it was actually extremely useful in preparing me for what awaited us. I remember reading her entry about throwing out her frozen supply of breast milk because her milk contained too much lipase - an enzyme that made the milk taste metallic and soapy (basically really gross) after being frozen and then thawed. I remember thinking, "Oh my gosh! If that happened to me I would FUH-REAK OUT!" Well, I'm borderline freaking out but not as bad as I imagined....

A few days ago I started dipping into my supply of frozen breast milk. Chloe is drinking more as she grows and I'm pumping less often so it was inevitable that I'd need a back up. I wasn't worried, though. I probably have 200 pounds of frozen milk in our deep freezer!

During one of my usual bottle temperature tests I dripped a few drops of milk on my wrist and then cleaned my wrist with my mouth. Yes, I taste my own breast milk on a daily basis. It's not so weird so stop making that face. Plus, I make a habit of tasting things that go into my children's mouths. Anyway, I noticed the milk had a weird fishy taste. The milk was from September so I thought, "That's odd. Maybe I ate fish that day...?" Then it happened again. And again. After the third bag of frozen milk I decided there was no period that I ate fish three days in a row in September. There's something wrong. Chloe never rejected the milk or had any kind of reaction to it so I wasn't too worried. I decided to do a taste test. Tasting the milk "straight" (it's usually mixed with Neosure), revealed the "fishy" taste times ten! What the heck is that?!? My fresh milk tasted good. Then I remembered Megan. She described her milk as soapy and metallic, though. I made Dave taste it because I wanted to rule out the possibility that the milk had just soured. He was less than pleased and made a face after tasting the fresh milk. I rolled my eyes and was about to say, "forget it." But then he tasted the frozen milk and used the word "metallic." CRAP!

The lactation consultant is off today and Chloe's nutritionist isn't familiar with this condition. (What? Something Crappy AND Rare happening to us? What a shocker! ;-) Based on my online research and from talking to Megan the milk should be safe. It's just a flavor issue. Megan and I are guessing that the Neosure flavor is covering up the lipase flavor just enough explaining Chloe's cooperation in drinking the yucky stuff. The nutritionist is sending out an all-points-bulletin to her nutritionist friends to ask if it's ok for Chloe to drink the milk and is checking with the Neo staff. In the meantime I'm using my February milk as backup. That has a less yucky taste. Time seems to have something to do with the intensity of the lipase.

So if they come back with the OK to feed Chloe my lipase milk I'm faced with a decision of what to do:

-Feed Chloe the old stuff before it gets even worse (while she'll still take it), letting the new stuff age in the freezer potentially making it unpalatable, as well. I could decrease my pumping to only two times a day - saving energy and requiring the use of more frozen milk quickly yet maintaining my ability to make milk...?

OR

-Start with the new stuff and expect to eventually throw out the old stuff since it would theoretically get worse with time.

I'm not good at making decisions....

Pulmonologist Visit

Chloe visited with my favorite doctor yesterday - the Nigerian pulmonologist with the cool accent. He was once again very impressed with her weight gain (she's over 10lbs! Gasp!)

His instructions: Turn off Chloe's oxygen for feedings. If she eats the same amount without tiring, at the same speed, keeps her color, etc., then continue daytime feeds without oxygen. After a week of success we can take her off oxygen during the day! She'll only need it at night! So exciting!

We'll see him again in 3 months :-)

Solana vs. Chloe

Who makes a better Popeye the sailor man? And how on earth can they look so different? Of course, Chloe's picture was taken a few weeks ago. I've heard she's starting to look like Solana now... :-)

Perspective

For some reason I was recently thinking about Solana's infancy. Shortly after we brought her home she was diagnosed with hip displasia. Meaning, her hips kept turning themselves out of the socket (or something like that). She was fitted with a brace to hold her legs in a position that would encourage them to stay in socket. Eventually (after 11 weeks) we were able to take the brace off and she's been fine ever since. The brace was slightly obnoxious. It was difficult to change her diaper, her legs were always spread in an awkward position, and we could only take it off for baths. I remember bringing her home from the doctor's office with it on and changing her diaper with it for the first time. I bawled. Seriously. I cried my eyes out. I felt so sorry for her and and embarrased to admit, felt sorry for myself. "Why can't I just have a normal baby," I thought. Oh my gosh.



Perspective, right? Not only has Chloe been through a million times more than Solana with her brace but she'll face a lot more challenge throughout her life. Do I feel sorry for myself. No way! Ok, well, maybe at times. But not very much and I get over it pretty quickly. I have to remember how lucky I am to even have Chloe. This experience has opened my eyes to see the blessings in the little things and remember how beautiful and blessed my life really is.


But, having said that, I recently reminded myself that every person's challenges are their own. As silly as it recently seemed that I was THAT upset over Solana's brace....well, that was my challenge at that time. Of course, I got over it quickly enough. I mean, I didn't cry every day for 11 weeks but it still kind of sucked. And I grant myself that.


I was talking to my friend John the other day. His puppy was really ill. A mutual friend told me he may lose his puppy and I was worried about my dear friend. Losing a pet is hard. I called him and happily learned that his puppy will be ok. John said, "but that's nothing compared to what you've been though." Sure you can't compare a sick child to a sick dog. Apples and oranges. But having a sick dog sucks big time! If that's what you're going through at that time you have every right to feel whatever emotion comes your way - no matter what your friends (or anyone in the world) is going through at that time. What's important to me, though, is to let that emotion run its course. Let it do what it will with me and then pick myself up and move on. Remember the blessings. Be thankful. And be happy.

Update

We went to Cincinnatti last Wednesday to have Chloe's eyes examined. The doctor agreed that she should have surgery to remove the cataract. He said there's still a tiny bit of blood and that he could also remove the vitreous (gel in her eye) and the blood would come out with the gel. But he recommends removing the cataract and leaving the small amount of blood behind to go away on its own. Her history of vitreous blood disippating on its own leads me to agree with this. No unnecessary surgery - thank you very much.


He does surgery the 2nd and fourth Wednesday of every month so she'll have it in a week and a half. This guy seems good. Kind of a jerk but that seems to be the norm these days. I'm not sure but I think all the good doctors have been watching 'House' lately and think it's cool to be impolite. Whatever. If he can fix Chloe's eye I'll be happy.


I didn't know this but removal of the cataract means removal of her lens. How can she see without a lens you may ask. She can't. She'll need to be fitted with a hard contact lens. Yep. That's right. I'll be placing a contact lens onto my infant daughter's eyeball so she can see. I don't know the details of this but I can only imagine. As much of a fit as Chloe throws when I put her patch on I'm sure the insertion of a contact lens will be a lovely calm process every day. HAHA..HA..Ha......ha....Sigh. We'll see how that goes. Until I talk to an opthamologist I won't really know the practical details. This will only last through elementary school, though. Toward the end of her elementary school days (that's when her eyes are done growing - for the most part) she'll be able to have a surgery to implant an artificial lens into her eye.


Now I'm off to call the opthamologist. I'm going to call a new one, though, because I'm not super duper pleased with her local one. I'm thinking the one at the Children's hospital (who also cares for one of the neonatologists at Chloe's birth hospital and my high risk OB's daughter) might be a good bet. Wish me luck!

Happy Easter from Chloe

I am such a blogger slacker these days! 10 days since my last post? I'm going to lose all my followers!

Let me give you a little incentive to come back. Here's Chloe's Easter/Spring greeting to you