Leila's Day

Yesterday was August 11th, the first anniversary of the day we lost Leila. Thankfully, my parents arrived in town on the 10th. We were super busy all day. Solana had ballet and swimming in the morning. I then went grocery shopping after pumping and feeding Chloe. Then it was a race to get Solana to soccer practice at 6. I don't know how the day flew by so quickly but I was glad for the busy-ness and for the company. I skipped soccer practice because Chloe hadn't finished her bottle by the time they had to go.


I flipped on the TV while feeding Chloe and resumed an Oprah I started the day before. I only recently started recording Oprah episodes (when I saw the Twilight cast was going to be on). I'll play an episode while feeding Chloe every once in a while. This particular episode was about match-making but somehow turned into a story about a boy who was starting a baking business. He began the project as a way to cope with the loss of his twin brother to cancer. The story progressed and Nate (the Oprah correspondent sent in to help the young boy) talked to the parents. The mom mentioned that it was hard to move on after their 9 year-old passed away because she was constantly smacked in the face with the fact that he was gone. Christmas. Thanksgiving. His birthday. The list went on and on. After doing so well all day I was practically sobbing watching this show. I felt so sorry for that little boy and his parents. Nate, who also suffered a difficult loss in his life, talked about the way he learned to cope with those difficult days. He said he had to realize that those days did not have power over him or over his memories. The dates were not important. After realizing that he knew that the memories would come and go but they were not dictated by the calendar.

I thought it was odd that I randomly watched this episode on the 11th. Some things are just inexplicable, I guess. Maybe I needed to hear him say this.

Dave and my dad picked up steaks from Outback after soccer and Solana led us in prayer/song before we ate. We finally headed outside - each carrying one balloon to send to Leila. Solana gave Leila a head's up that they were coming and Chloe released her balloon first. My mom said, "Oooh! Chloe wants her balloon to get there first!" It seemed appropriate. It was very sweet and sad. With smiles on our faces and tears streaming down our cheeks we wished Leila a "Happy 1 Year in Heaven" and told her that we miss her. We watched the balloons as long as possible. We even sent one up to my Grandpa, who passed away just a couple of weeks ago on July 26th. We ended the evening with angel food cake.

I'm so lucky and blessed to have such a wonderful family. It's days like these that I realize it the most.