Day 108 - Chloe's Secret

The feeding therapist couldn't make it in today. Fortunately, (before I had to say anything) the nurses decided it was silly for her to be the only person allowed to feed Chloe a bottle and that it would do Chloe no good to take two days off from practicing. The nurse practitioner put in an order for Chloe to get two bottle feedings plus one breastfeeding a day.

And as Chloe's nurse tried to give her the bottle Chloe told her a secret. She said, "I don't like the taste of that yucky Elecare. I just like my Mommy's milk straight." So the nurse promptly prepared a new bottle of straight milk and voila! Chloe took 20cc's! That other lady wanted tag Chloe a "difficult feeder" and start all kinds of crazy stuff to "teach" her to suck and swallow. All Chloe needed was for someone to listen to her :-) Thank goodness for good nurses! They want to try some different fortifiers for her so that she can keep up her steady weight gain. 3lb 13oz now! Yeah!

Unfortunately, I didn't get to go in tonight. Solana got a runny nose yesterday and my throat has been hurting all day. I called the nurse practitioner (already knowing the answer) to see if I should go in or not and she said No Way Jose! She gave me a visual of Chloe catching a virus and it wasn't a pretty one so I'm staying clear of the NICU for a while. I just needed someone else to make me do it. This is only my second day to not see Chloe. I know I'm totally spoiled - one more thing to be grateful for. I just hope she doesn't miss me too much.

Day 107 - Big Girl Bed

Chloe is in a big girl bed! Solana and I stopped by for a visit today and enjoyed her new bed so much! Solana couldn't keep her hands off Chloe. I don't have any pictures of her actually touching Chloe because she was making me really nervous. (She's kind of clumsy.) I didn't dare step away for even a second to grab the camera. I managed to reign in the big sister, though, and all was good :-)

They also put Chloe on "home going" oxygen. Her canula is only 1/8th of a liter, which is barely a poof of air in her nose. She's doing great with it!

She didn't do too well with her bottle feeding, though. She only managed about 3 cc's. By the time they got around to feeding her, though, she had already been crying for about 20 minutes (I think from hunger). Not the ideal learning scenario. I'm no expert at feeding technique but I suggested that perhaps the Fedding Therapist start her bottles before she's thrown herself into a fit of rage. I don't know. Just a thought...

But she did great at breastfeeding tonight. I harassed the nurse into finishing Chloe's assessment early (and threatened to whip out my you-know-what if she didn't finish before Chloe got upset) so that we could start feeding while she was still in a cooperative state-of-mind. She got 23 out of 35 cc's - her best showing yet! At least I know she's capable of suck/swallow. Now it's just a matter of getting her to do it on a bottle and we can take her home!

Day 106 - Chloe and Leila's Due Date

Today was the girls' due date. I've been feeling some anxiety about this date for quite a long time now. Knowing that it would be strangely difficult. I had a few moments of self pity today, for sure. But it's the end of the day and I'm so thankful that it was not so bad at all. Chloe is doing really well right now and that has made all the difference to my state of mind. This is just one more small blessing I've been granted and for that I praise God.

Chloe had her second session with the speech/feeding therapist today. It went...ok. She was a bit fussy and didn't really seem to enjoy the bottle experience. I sat by and watched this woman feeding Chloe and felt some mixed emotions. Intellectually I know that Chloe needs to learn to eat from a bottle before she can go home. I can't be there for all of her feedings so she must master the bottle and I'm anxious for that to happen. Emotionally I felt a little twinge of satisfaction that Chloe didn't like the bottle the way she liked her Mommy. The feeding therapist actually doesn't want anyone else to feed Chloe with the bottle until she's satisfied that Chloe can do it and that bit of...possessiveness (?) over Chloe's feeding is the thing that I think set off my jealousy. (And jealousy is what it is if I'm being honest here.) I think it's a mother's instinct. The way Chloe looked at me when she was nursing was such a bonding moment. I really felt like her Mommy - the person who can give her that which no other person can. Of course I don't want to share that in any shape or form with some stranger.

I kind of feel sorry for the feeding therapist. I'm sure I'm not the first person to feel some irrational animosity toward her. Starting tomorrow I hope Chloe does great with the bottle. The FT said she'd try the Dr. Brown's bottles. I remember reading about those on another blog and they're supposed to simulate the breast more than traditional nipples. Fingers crossed! For tonight, though, I win! Hehe!

TTTS Foundation

The TTTS Foundation has a fundraising event called the Matthew and Steven TTTS Walk for the Babies. The walk just happens to take place today - the same day as Chloe and Leila's original due date!

The TTTS Foundation and the founder, Mary Slaman-Forsythe, in particular, were a HUGE support for me during our fight against TTTS. Mary is an amazing woman who used her grief to help future TTTS mothers with information and support that cannot be found anywhere else.

TTTS is a very serious disease that only affects monochorionic twin pregnancies. That is, identical twins sharing one placenta. If you know someone pregnant with twins please make sure they find out from their doctor if their twins share a placenta. Send them to the TTTS Foundation Website and contact the foundation. They are a high risk pregnancy and will want to do everything they possibly can to keep their babies safe.

Please visit my fundraising page:
http://www.tttsfoundation.org/tttswalk/?chloeandleila

Day 105 - Nursing Chloe

Chloe is doing soooo well, you guys! She is growing, breathing, eating, pooping... It's great!

She's down to .5 liters on her nasal canula and she's doing really well on it. I don't think they'll be taking her off oxygen completely in the next day or anything but .5 liters is pretty darn good! Her bed temperature is pretty low. I forgot the temperature at which they start trying a crib but she must be pretty close. Her isolette doesn't even feel warm when I put my hands in there anymore! And here's the big one for me. She's nursing! They had told me they would start her on the bottle only but I asked yesterday and the nurse practitioner put in the order to let Chloe nurse once a day. And she's great at it! Her full feeding is 1 oz and she got over a half oz today before tiring out (we know because we weighed her before and after). But then after we weighed her she wanted to go in for more so I let her. I must say, hearing Chloe gulp while nursing made me downright giddy! She's being such a big girl!

And speaking of big girl. She's up to a whopping 3lb 11oz!

Chloe is 15 weeks (3 1/2 months) old today.
Tomorrow is her due date.

Day 102 - Oh Crap!

We're doing really well. Don't be fooled by my title. I went to visit Chloe yesterday while Solana was at school (yes, the "schedule" is already out the window - Michigan kinda screwed that up). Anyway, while I was there one of the neonatologists stopped to look at Chloe. He hadn't seen her since her return. While examining her he asked, "[Tell me again.] How old is she?" I blurted out, "29 weeks." This is the second time in a week that I've shaved 10 weeks off her gestational age and...WAS BELIEVED! She is soooo tiny! He nodded at 29 weeks and thought for a moment. I quickly corrected myself. "Oh wait! She's THIRTY-nine weeks!" His eyes bulged and he asked, "Has she taken a bottle?" I'm thinking, "Uh, are you kidding me? She only JUST got off the vent and started tolerating full feeds!" But I answer, "No." He then talks crazy talk. "Let's get her eating so she can go home. She may have to go home with some oxygen but I assume that's ok with you..." Hahahahahaha! Wait. He's serious. We're talking two weeks (no promises) if all goes well people!!!

You were right! It feels like (even though I know it's not true) they suddenly realized how "old" Chloe is and decided to kick her out of the NICU! She's graduated to bolus feeds where all the food is poured into her feeding tube within a matter of a few minutes and she's tolerated that well today. They're probably feeding her with a bottle right now for all I know! I stopped by the hospital last night to practice some non-nutritive sucking. (I drained my milk factory and then let her practice on me.) She did great! Of course, she only gave a few good sucks but she seemed to know what to do and didn't mind at all. I really wanted to get her successful at breastfeeding first but the lactation consultant says they have good success with breastfeeding even though they get their babies onto the bottle first. Plus, it would delay her homecoming if we make her breastfeed first, and they really want to get her home soon! Like I'm going to argue with that!

I spoke with the nurse practitioner today about Chloe's small size. She's WAY under the growth curve. Heck, she's not even 4 pounds, yet! She says that Chloe's a lot smaller than babies at her gestational age but she's "mature" so they know she can do what she needs to do to go home. Her growth curve is absolutely below the norm but at least it's a curve and not a horizontal line. Chloe just takes things at her own pace.

When I got home last night from the hospital Dave was shopping online for premie diapers and air purifiers. (He's such a planner!) Then he asked me if I have a plan for having Chloe at home and keeping an eye on her. What? I can't just leave her in the room sleeping while I clean house? Crap! I am so screwed! Plus, check out Chloe's bedroom. Can you tell we weren't expecting her home any time soon? At least she won't be staying in there for a while....

We actually do have a place for her to sleep...

Day 100 - Back Home

I can't believe Chloe is already 100 days old! She's getting old! :-)

We're all back home safe and sound. We're so happy that she's well and back to Dayton so quickly! She's tucked back into an isolette sleeping away. They aren't wasting any time moving her forward, either. They already decreased the temperature in her isolette and changed her feedings so that she gets her whole feeding over just one hour (instead of two).