We just had our first unwelcome (attempted) touch. Solana, Chloe, and I were leaving the hospital after Chloe's eye exam when I decided to stop at the bathroom to change her diaper. I was carrying Chloe and Solana was pushing the stroller. A lady followed us in and I was on high alert as she looked at Chloe. She said, "How cute" and simultaneously reached for Chloe's exposed hand. I did my best Ninja imitation and swiveled away causing her to barely miss Chloe's hand. Her hand dropped - rejected. I tried to act like I was going for a paper towel but it was totally obvious I didn't want her to touch Chloe. The lady used the toilet and then, as I was still changing Chloe, scurried out of the bathroom WITHOUT WASHING HER HANDS!!!!
I felt soooo justified in my earlier rudeness! I explained what just happened to Solana and she was thoroughly appalled. "Gross! That lady has bad manners!" That's right, Solana.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Solana and Leila
Solana's had Leila on the brain a lot lately. My facebook friends might remember this conversation from a couple of weeks ago. It was the afternoon after Solana's birthday party. She and I were snuggled up on the couch watching TV. She reached over and patted my stomach and said:
"Mommy, your belly is big." Then gave an excited gasp. "Maybe Leila came back!!"
Me: "Oh Sweetie Pie. That would be wonderful. But it doesn't work that way. People don't come back after they've gone to heaven. And by the way, my belly is NOT big."
We had a little tickle war argument about whether my belly as big or not. I won. I didn't need to say anything else. She accepted that and went back to watching her show.
What amazed me was how she had worked that out. Solana had been very very excited about having twin sisters. We lost Leila when I was 23 weeks. We'd all felt her kick and she was a very real part of our family. Solana took the news hard. We told her that Leila joined the angels in Heaven and went to be with God. Solana doesn't understand the difference between body and soul. After that she thought I had only one baby in my belly. If Leila came back she would obviously return to my belly. Obvously. Kids are so amazing!
Solana loves to play pretend. We often "play family." I usually get to be the Mom. Dave is the Dad. Solana gets to be the baby, the dog, or some other character. Chloe doesn't usually play. But last night Solana wanted to be "Chloe." And you'll never guess who Chloe got to play. That's right. Chloe got to be "Leila." I couldn't very well say "no" so I went along with it. Having Solana call Chloe "Leila" was a bit disconcerting, though.
I keep Leila's last ultrasound pictures in my jewelery drawer and sometimes stop to look at them and cry a little. Or I dwell as I walk past her urn in our room and feel a bit sad sometimes. But I honestly don't look at Chloe and feel loss or sadness about Leila. I can't. Chloe is such a miracle and all I feel is gratitude and joy when I look at her (I think her struggle after birth and 5 months in the NICU might have had something to do with that). But this time was different. Hearing Solana call her "Leila" over and over.... Well, let's just say I wasn't the most interactive play-date yesterday. I kept staring at Chloe and thinking...Leila. Leila? Leila. What would you look like? How would you look different from Chloe? It was weird. But I digress.
I'm curious about Solana. She likes to tell people that she has a sister in heaven and includes Leila as part of our family but we don't really talk about Leila too much. I feel like she coped with the loss of her sister in a healthy way. But should I prompt a conversation with Solana about this renewed interest in Leila or just let her bring up her sister as she will? And what would I say if I started a conversation?
"Mommy, your belly is big." Then gave an excited gasp. "Maybe Leila came back!!"
Me: "Oh Sweetie Pie. That would be wonderful. But it doesn't work that way. People don't come back after they've gone to heaven. And by the way, my belly is NOT big."
We had a little tickle war argument about whether my belly as big or not. I won. I didn't need to say anything else. She accepted that and went back to watching her show.
What amazed me was how she had worked that out. Solana had been very very excited about having twin sisters. We lost Leila when I was 23 weeks. We'd all felt her kick and she was a very real part of our family. Solana took the news hard. We told her that Leila joined the angels in Heaven and went to be with God. Solana doesn't understand the difference between body and soul. After that she thought I had only one baby in my belly. If Leila came back she would obviously return to my belly. Obvously. Kids are so amazing!
Solana loves to play pretend. We often "play family." I usually get to be the Mom. Dave is the Dad. Solana gets to be the baby, the dog, or some other character. Chloe doesn't usually play. But last night Solana wanted to be "Chloe." And you'll never guess who Chloe got to play. That's right. Chloe got to be "Leila." I couldn't very well say "no" so I went along with it. Having Solana call Chloe "Leila" was a bit disconcerting, though.
I keep Leila's last ultrasound pictures in my jewelery drawer and sometimes stop to look at them and cry a little. Or I dwell as I walk past her urn in our room and feel a bit sad sometimes. But I honestly don't look at Chloe and feel loss or sadness about Leila. I can't. Chloe is such a miracle and all I feel is gratitude and joy when I look at her (I think her struggle after birth and 5 months in the NICU might have had something to do with that). But this time was different. Hearing Solana call her "Leila" over and over.... Well, let's just say I wasn't the most interactive play-date yesterday. I kept staring at Chloe and thinking...Leila. Leila? Leila. What would you look like? How would you look different from Chloe? It was weird. But I digress.
I'm curious about Solana. She likes to tell people that she has a sister in heaven and includes Leila as part of our family but we don't really talk about Leila too much. I feel like she coped with the loss of her sister in a healthy way. But should I prompt a conversation with Solana about this renewed interest in Leila or just let her bring up her sister as she will? And what would I say if I started a conversation?
Monday, May 10, 2010
Chloe Update
Chloe's really "coming together" these days! She got her contact last week and this weekend we finally turned off her oxygen during the day. She's doing great without it, too. She still gets oxygen at night. I don't think she actually needs it but she'll need to have a test/study done before the pulmonalogist will take her off at night. I certainly don't mind waiting on that! It's nice to have that peace of mind (oxygen on and sats monitor on) during the night.
Solana was snapping pictures the other day while I was changing Chloe's diaper. I don't know why I love this picture - something about her eyes...
Doesn't she look super chubby here?
She cracks up when I kiss her neck! I love it!
We had a visit from the physical therapist today. I'm still trying to figure out all the specialists that come to our house. We have a Help Me Grow lady who's like the big umbrella overseeing Chloe's developmental assistance program. Then we have the Early Intervention lady who visits with the OT and PT. The Physical Therapist makes sure Chloe's developing her core, head, and leg strength (I think). She looks for skills like sitting up, rolling over, holding her head up during tummy time, etc. The Occupational Therapist will look at Chloe's hands (ability to grasp) and, I believe, mouth (ability to make sounds and chew). I'm still working this out. There are so many people with different areas of expertise.
Anyway, the PT came by today and said that Chloe's pretty close to doing what a 5 month-old (that's Chloe's adjusted age) should be doing. She's holding her head up at almost 90degrees and starting to push up with her arms. She follows toys with her eyes and grasps at them. She can roll over with assistance but she wants us to work on that some more. We also need to work on sitting up with assistance. Overall, I had a good feeling after the meeting and learned some new techniques for helping Chloe learn to sit and roll over.
These pictures were taken on Thursday. I wanted to get pictures of her wearing her contact and also show off her new skill - grabbing her toes. She was laughing at me because ever time I clicked the camera she'd let go of her toes.
Solana was snapping pictures the other day while I was changing Chloe's diaper. I don't know why I love this picture - something about her eyes...
Doesn't she look super chubby here?
She cracks up when I kiss her neck! I love it!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Contact Lens
Chloe got her contact lens yesterday morning! She wore it all day and I swear I can tell that she sees better. I'm so excited for her to finally have vision in her left eye!
It's kind of difficult to get it in and out (she screams and kicks and squeezes her eyes shut) but it's sooooo worth it! She was happy and smiley all day long. I'm still giving Chloe two drops a day of her post-surgery eye drops. Next week she'll be down to one drop per day. The contact has to come in and out every day while she's on the drops. But once we completely wean her off the eye drops I can leave the contact in for five days.
It's kind of difficult to get it in and out (she screams and kicks and squeezes her eyes shut) but it's sooooo worth it! She was happy and smiley all day long. I'm still giving Chloe two drops a day of her post-surgery eye drops. Next week she'll be down to one drop per day. The contact has to come in and out every day while she's on the drops. But once we completely wean her off the eye drops I can leave the contact in for five days.
Update 1: I wrote this post Thursday. It's now Friday and I put Chloe's contact in this morning. She didn't even make a sound. Such a trooper! I love her!
Update 2: It's now Monday and I still haven't published this post. I'm soooo lame! Chloe's doing great with the contact except that she popped it out twice today while I was making dinner. Fortunately, she was in her swing and I found the contact stuck to her cheek both times. At $250 a pop I don't really want to lose these things!!!Friday, May 7, 2010
Solana's Birthday
Solana turned 5 in April. She chose a butterfly theme for her party. I only took a few pictures since I was running around like crazy during the party and they were all crappy. Most of these were taken by Angela, whose two butterflies joined the party, as well.
We turned the four seasons room into a party room.
I made the cake. It was totally easy (parenting.com) but I'm still proud of it. :-)
The girls decorated their own wings and had their faces painted to look like butterflies.
We had a scavenger hunt. The clues were photographs hidden in various pieces of furniture. The photograph showed the next piece of furniture they needed to search. They ran screaming back and forth through the house going from one clue to the next. They loved it and found their goodie bags at the end. The only rule was that they couldn't scream near the master bdrm, where my friend, Kim, was rocking Chloe to sleep :-)
The girls decorated their own wings and had their faces painted to look like butterflies.
Happy birthday to my sweet 5 year-old.
We had a scavenger hunt. The clues were photographs hidden in various pieces of furniture. The photograph showed the next piece of furniture they needed to search. They ran screaming back and forth through the house going from one clue to the next. They loved it and found their goodie bags at the end. The only rule was that they couldn't scream near the master bdrm, where my friend, Kim, was rocking Chloe to sleep :-)
Swarming the pinata candy. I didn't know butterflies swarmed...?
After a long day of partying! Turns out Solana's friend next door is only 4 days older than Solana. Their parties were on the same day so they went from Solana's party straight to hers. Whew!
Her actual birthday was on Tuesday. She woke up to birthday pancakes. I stole this idea from a friend on facebook and just added pink food coloring - think it might become a tradition.
Chloe update in the works!
After a long day of partying! Turns out Solana's friend next door is only 4 days older than Solana. Their parties were on the same day so they went from Solana's party straight to hers. Whew!
Her actual birthday was on Tuesday. She woke up to birthday pancakes. I stole this idea from a friend on facebook and just added pink food coloring - think it might become a tradition.
Chloe update in the works!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Not enough?
Isn't my fabtastic wordsmith-ing enough for you girls? Do you really need pictures? I would think my descriptive writing paints enough of a visual image for you... Hehehe. I'll post pictures tomorrow. We have a long day ahead of us today. Cincinnati this morning (we want a release from that Dr!) and hopefully opthamologist this afternoon for a contact lens. Wish us luck!
P.S. I decided I'm too narcissistic to quit the blog. Plus, my mom and SIL guilted me into continuing ;-)
P.S. I decided I'm too narcissistic to quit the blog. Plus, my mom and SIL guilted me into continuing ;-)
Monday, May 3, 2010
She's ba-ack!
This past week and a half has been rough. Chloe was not herself for a good ten days. All she wanted to do was sleep. And when she wasn't sleeping she wanted to lay in my arms with her eyes closed. The weird thing was that she didn't show any other signs of being sick. She was eating, peeing, pooping, no fever. Nothing. I just kept telling myself she's growing and healing from surgery. Yesterday she finally snapped out of it. She's back! Smiling, interacting, playing, you name it. What a relief! She even has a couple of new tricks. She likes to hold her feet and she laughed and giggled when I was playing with her yesterday. Solana, Dave and I were freaking out! Such fun...
We went to Cincinatti for a surgery follow-up on Wednesday (almost two weeks ago) and her eyes looked good. Yeah! The doctor wanted us to keep Chloe on some pressure relieving drops (Pred Forte) and come back after two weeks. I wanted to start the contact lens process but the doctor said, "not yet." Two days later Chloe's top and bottom eye lids swelled up. After a very frustrating series of phone calls and being put off by the doctor in Cincinatti, who said her eye was fine two days ago, and her pediatrician I finally got a local opthamologist to see Chloe. Note: I'm dumping her original opthomologist because of his inability to communicate with me and asked the new one to see her. Boy was I glad I did that! This new Optho is AWESOME! He's been her doctor for a whole week and he's already called me on the phone four times! This is a BIG deal! I never get to talk to other eye doctors - only their techs and nurses. This guy takes the time to really get involved in his patient's cases. I like that. The only annoying thing is that I learned HE could have done Chloe's surgery here in Dayton. The old Dr. that I dumped obviously didn't want to refer me to him because he knew he'd lose a patient. That Dr referred us to Cinci implying that she couldn't have the surgery in Dayton because of her small size. Grrrr. The great news was that her sollen eyelids were a perfectly normal post-surgery symptom.
Awesome Doctor is very anxious to get a contact into Chloe's eye - as am I. (Reminder: her brain is still developing connections to her eyes. Without vision in that eye her brain may decided it's not worth the effort to connect to it - leading to lazy eye.) Had he done the surgery a contact lens would be in place by now. Unfortunately, we're stuck with Cinci Doctor for at least a couple more days. Awesome Dr. did comfort me, though: if he thought the extra days without a lens would have a detrimental effect on Chloe's vision in the long run he would certainly take over her case without a release from her surgeon.
Lesson learned. If you're unhappy with your doctor. Check out others. There is probably one out there who's a better fit for you. And don't assume the referral given is your best/only option.
In other Hendrickson news: Solana turned 5 on Tuesday the 27th. She had a butterfly party and was soooo cute! I'm loving my new combination of SleepyWrap and B tank. I can carry Chloe in the SleepyWrap and put her new little oxygen tank in a little backpack and Voila! We're mobile! You may wonder what happened with the whole, "Chloe-can-come-off-oxygen-Hip-Hip-Hooray!" thing... Well, nothing has changed. As anxious as I was to disconnect Chloe from her little leash I decided to wait until after surgery - no reason to push her while she's healing. She could probably be off oxygen by now. I'm actually the one holding her back. I'm just so scared to do it! It'll happen soon enough, though. I'm sure of it. I've started taking her off for meals. Baby steps.
We went to Cincinatti for a surgery follow-up on Wednesday (almost two weeks ago) and her eyes looked good. Yeah! The doctor wanted us to keep Chloe on some pressure relieving drops (Pred Forte) and come back after two weeks. I wanted to start the contact lens process but the doctor said, "not yet." Two days later Chloe's top and bottom eye lids swelled up. After a very frustrating series of phone calls and being put off by the doctor in Cincinatti, who said her eye was fine two days ago, and her pediatrician I finally got a local opthamologist to see Chloe. Note: I'm dumping her original opthomologist because of his inability to communicate with me and asked the new one to see her. Boy was I glad I did that! This new Optho is AWESOME! He's been her doctor for a whole week and he's already called me on the phone four times! This is a BIG deal! I never get to talk to other eye doctors - only their techs and nurses. This guy takes the time to really get involved in his patient's cases. I like that. The only annoying thing is that I learned HE could have done Chloe's surgery here in Dayton. The old Dr. that I dumped obviously didn't want to refer me to him because he knew he'd lose a patient. That Dr referred us to Cinci implying that she couldn't have the surgery in Dayton because of her small size. Grrrr. The great news was that her sollen eyelids were a perfectly normal post-surgery symptom.
Awesome Doctor is very anxious to get a contact into Chloe's eye - as am I. (Reminder: her brain is still developing connections to her eyes. Without vision in that eye her brain may decided it's not worth the effort to connect to it - leading to lazy eye.) Had he done the surgery a contact lens would be in place by now. Unfortunately, we're stuck with Cinci Doctor for at least a couple more days. Awesome Dr. did comfort me, though: if he thought the extra days without a lens would have a detrimental effect on Chloe's vision in the long run he would certainly take over her case without a release from her surgeon.
Lesson learned. If you're unhappy with your doctor. Check out others. There is probably one out there who's a better fit for you. And don't assume the referral given is your best/only option.
In other Hendrickson news: Solana turned 5 on Tuesday the 27th. She had a butterfly party and was soooo cute! I'm loving my new combination of SleepyWrap and B tank. I can carry Chloe in the SleepyWrap and put her new little oxygen tank in a little backpack and Voila! We're mobile! You may wonder what happened with the whole, "Chloe-can-come-off-oxygen-Hip-Hip-Hooray!" thing... Well, nothing has changed. As anxious as I was to disconnect Chloe from her little leash I decided to wait until after surgery - no reason to push her while she's healing. She could probably be off oxygen by now. I'm actually the one holding her back. I'm just so scared to do it! It'll happen soon enough, though. I'm sure of it. I've started taking her off for meals. Baby steps.
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