Perspective, right? Not only has Chloe been through a million times more than Solana with her brace but she'll face a lot more challenge throughout her life. Do I feel sorry for myself. No way! Ok, well, maybe at times. But not very much and I get over it pretty quickly. I have to remember how lucky I am to even have Chloe. This experience has opened my eyes to see the blessings in the little things and remember how beautiful and blessed my life really is.
But, having said that, I recently reminded myself that every person's challenges are their own. As silly as it recently seemed that I was THAT upset over Solana's brace....well, that was my challenge at that time. Of course, I got over it quickly enough. I mean, I didn't cry every day for 11 weeks but it still kind of sucked. And I grant myself that.
I was talking to my friend John the other day. His puppy was really ill. A mutual friend told me he may lose his puppy and I was worried about my dear friend. Losing a pet is hard. I called him and happily learned that his puppy will be ok. John said, "but that's nothing compared to what you've been though." Sure you can't compare a sick child to a sick dog. Apples and oranges. But having a sick dog sucks big time! If that's what you're going through at that time you have every right to feel whatever emotion comes your way - no matter what your friends (or anyone in the world) is going through at that time. What's important to me, though, is to let that emotion run its course. Let it do what it will with me and then pick myself up and move on. Remember the blessings. Be thankful. And be happy.
Cyndi, that is SO wise. I, too, have brief moments of self-pity. They are flashes, really (why won't she eat like a normal baby), but I have the perspective that having her here, at all, is such a wonderful miracle. I wouldn't trade Daphne for anything.
ReplyDeleteAnd I have to remind myself for being compassionate even when another person's struggles seem minor (to me). Like when someone complains about a week-long NICU stay. That is their reality, their nightmare, and it's not fair to judge from my perspective.
You are wise, my friend.
you seem like you are a pretty down-to-earth person. your girls are lucky to have you for a mom :)
ReplyDeleteMelissa-I know what you mean about people with short NICU stays. On the one hand we should always remember that it sucks for them no matter how "minor" or short their stay compared to ours. On the other hand, they should keep in mind to whom they're complaining - don't you think? ;-)
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post. I remember when Kinley was born three weeks early and had some jaundice that interfered with successful breastfeeding. I called her my "preemie" forever and thought the jaundice thing was the end of the world. Laughable now, huh?
ReplyDeleteIt was helpful later though, because when Crew was two days old, a neighbor gave birth to a baby that was 5 and a half pounds and struggling with some jaundice and breastfeeding. She was in the NICU for about a week and my mommy friend looked haunted and at the end of her rope. She couldn't eat, she couldn't sleep, she looked a wreck. She was embarrassed to be complaining about her situation to me, considering the nightmare I was living at the time, but I was able to remember how hard it was with Kinley and I remembered that all trials are hard and that it's not for us to compare difficulty.
I loved this post...
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