I've been dwelling on a Facebook comment that I read a couple of weeks ago. A friend with a new baby posted something about the fact that her baby is growing up too fast. That's what everyone says. Someone else chimed in with, "I wish there was a way we could make them stay small for longer." My sarcastic self thought, "Ummm. I think I've got the recipe for that but I don't think it's recommended...?" Don't worry. I didn't actually put that on Facebook. I just thought it.
But then I thought some more. And some more. I figured that since I didn't want to type my comment that it probably was because it wasn't very nice. And since it wasn't very nice I should probably think about an attitude adjustment.
Another friend of mine has a daughter who got RSV shortly after she was born ten years ago and is now struggling with all kinds of medical problems. This friend is one of those people that quotes Ghandi all the time and seems to have this never-ending flow of positive energy and thoughtfulness. I love reading her quotes. They're always inspirational. Anyway, she once told me that, "I choose to see the beauty in it." I go back to that comment often. I love it.
So I got to thinking. Yes, it's tough to have a baby with medical problems and to constantly fret about when she'll ever sit, crawl, or walk. Worry about her getting sick or what medical problems are yet to come. BUT, on the other hand, I should also appreciate the fact that I still get to snuggle Chloe without her toddling away, hold her bottle for her and study her face while she eats, carry her around because she still needs me to, etc. They DO grow up fast. But I guess in a way I'm lucky because I get just a little extra time with my little one being, well, little.
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I think you are being too hard on yourself, that comment about staying little is sort of funny! And another way to deal with life's little battles (get it? "little"? hahahaha) is through humor. You aren't saying that its fun to deal with the medical issues - who would? (maybe crazy people) But you can giggle a little because some people don't know what they're asking for!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post, Cyndi. Do you remember the other mom with the premature baby who was in gymnastics with us? After getting RSV, the poor baby got a very rare lung disease that causes you to need oxygen all the time and has other complications. It is so sad. Sometimes you never know what life will give you.
ReplyDeleteThis is a comment (among many, actually) that sometimes bothers me as well. Olivia has a hard time growing physically as well as developmentally. I see babies born a year after her that are bigger and doing more things than she is. Part of me treasures the extra "time" I get with my baby, but all mothers want to see their children grow and develop. Just wanted you to know that you aren't alone! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments! I also think my comment is pretty funny. I like to think of myself as a natural born comedian. To tell the truth, though, I was feeling pretty snotty when I had that thought. And I don't 'always' wear snotty well. (Just sometimes...) This one in particular kind of bugged me like an itchy sweater so I had to mentally work on it for a while. I think it's totally ok for things to bug me but it feels good to look at the bright side and also to remember that other people just don't understand. Heck, I was once one of those people and would happily return to that state of blissful ignorance if I could... :-) (Meaning: change the past so Leila and Chloe would both be alive and perfectly healthy.)
ReplyDeleteI'm not one of those naturally positive people, sadly... I have to work hard on it. But in the past year and a half, I have noticed that most people just don't have the gift of perspective. So people complain when their baby is in the NICU for 2 days. There was a mom in our NICU who complained that her identical girls' cribs were too far from each other...You can imagine my reaction to that complaint. I overheard a friend complain that her perfectly healthy daughter is only in the 10% percentile. I wish that we could educate all these people, but it's impossible. For better or worse, we've got perspective.
ReplyDeleteI think that entry was so well written! Loved it!
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ReplyDeleteI just deleted my comment. You know, just in case she reads your blog :)
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